Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
