dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
