We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
