She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
only if we run a train.
done.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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