Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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