You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
