its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Acid is not a monday night drug
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
