sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
