i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
4 words: hood of his car
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
