Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
