Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
