my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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