You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
