Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
