If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
