you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
