just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize