i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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