the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
