ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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