My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
