That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
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