I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
In other news, I just burned my penis
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Randomize
