I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
