We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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