some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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