I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
