You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This is the high leading the old right now
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She needs sedatives and a leash
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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