pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize