I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
