I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
well I can't set my house on fire every night
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize