so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize