Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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