Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
