Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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