her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
