We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
