it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
