I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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