Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
