i don't plan on having that self control this summer
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
