Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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