if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Randomize
