is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
