I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
