I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
