i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
