He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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