Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
