we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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