just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
