Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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