I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
