this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm always down for nudity.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
