Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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