Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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