That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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