Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
