I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
they're like a gay fantastic four
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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